I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
