This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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