obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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