Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
