My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
