We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
