the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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