Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize