im having a threesome with these popsicles
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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