Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
