How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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