doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I could fuck to npr.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Randomize
