Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
