oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
