He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
