nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I'm both gender and math confused
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
