I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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