Can Purell be used as lube?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
