Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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