I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
