it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
