if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
