Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
