Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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