yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
