what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
The feeling are messing with the penis
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize