It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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