There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
