I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Found the puke drawer
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
