there was a trapeze. enough said
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
