I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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