sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
