how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
