Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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