There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
