u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
