I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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