Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
