YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
