Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
