i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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