when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Randomize
