it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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