Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
