garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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