Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
