is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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