a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Blood and glitter go together right?
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
