Need sex. Gaining weight.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
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