guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
