But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
