All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
