He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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