It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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