She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
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