the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
