He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
the raccoons are back...
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