I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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