My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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