How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Randomize
