if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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