4 words: hood of his car
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
