Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
My hand turned me down
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
