420 ftw
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
