i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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