lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
