It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Randomize
