Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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