Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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